Top Ten Toys Controllers Don't Want For Christmas

10. Mr. Potato Head ... Looks suspiciously like the controller who took your point-out and then tried to spot weld a 727 to the aircraft.

9. Barbie and Ken ... The facility couple. "Hey can you two quit swabbing each other's tonsils long enough to finish up this rush?"

8. Rubik's Cube... Also known as, "Pay Reclassification." One more colored square and we'll HAVE it ... OOPS ... there it went.

Slinky ... The anonymous hotline caller. Step up to the plate and take credit, you gutless wonder.

6. Etch-A-Sketch ... Show us what the new FAA should look like! Draw it yourself! Done! Great. We shake your idea upside down and it's all gone.

5. Monopoly ... Ah, the final management rejoiner. "If you don't like it, you can quit."

4. Paint-by-Numbers ... First you shake hands. Then you smile and say "Good morning, partner" Then you yak it up. Then you sign the MOU ... right next to his signature. Then you go to the telcon. Grab me another sheet of butcher paper, boys! I'm on a roll!

3. See `N Say ... the FAA spokesman. Pull the string and it's, The Administrator SAYS, "The equipment is old." Pull it again. The Administrator SAYS, "Safety was not compromised." Pull it again. The Administrator SAYS, "Have you read any of my Vision statements lately!"

2. Mouse Trap ... The pursuit of a career ladder. "Let's see ... it's the third Tuesday in December, so I've got to have one year of staff rime, three years on the boards, and be an albino zinjanthropus from the lost continent of Atlantis to qualify I think I can do that."

... and the number one toy controllers DON'T want for Christmas is:

1. Trivial Pursuit... also known as "QTP"

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